[iTS ALMOST CHRiSTMAS]

I cant believe that it is almost Christmas!! It seems like it was just Christmas a few months ago. I love Christmas! I wouldn't care if I didn't get anything as long as I could get stuff for everybody else. I just like to see other people happy. I am pretty proud of myself because I am actually done with all of my Christmas shopping! I finished last Tuesday . I don't think that has ever happened before but I didn't really have a choice. I have worked everyday for the past 2 weeks and before that I have only had 1 weekend off since I started back working so I had to get it done a lot sooner this year but luckily I managed. I have to work on Christmas again this year which just totally sucks : / I have Christmas Eve off though and I am so ready for it! By the time it gets here I will have worked 14 full days straight and needless to say I am VERY ready for a day off even though it will not be a day that I get to rest. I am baking a pecan pie and a chocolate and strawberry celebration cake (if you have seen the Christmas Taste of Homes magazine it is the one on the cover) so I will be up early to get everything done in time for dinner at my Pape and Nanna's house. I love going to their house on Christmas Eve, we always have the best food and so much fun! I cant wait until Christmas gets here!! Only 4 more days!

I am FiNALLY done with school...for this semester at least : / I don't have my grades yet but I am about 98% positive that I got all A's! So I hope I did. Now at lease I have about 2 weeks off from school. I don't think that is going to be long enough at all but I guess it will have to do.

Chaz finally came home this past Friday and its a good thing that he did. He was in Philadelphia and he flew home the day before the snow storm hit there. So it was just in time or he probably wouldn't have been home for a while. So I was very glad about that!

But I guess that's about all has been going on! I hope everyone has a great Christmas!

[LONG TiME NO TALK]

Wow! It has definitely been a VERY long time since I have posted on here. I would like to say that we have been very busy... but that would be a lie up until last week. So I will try to update on what all has been going on for the last month and a half.

I am now almost 3 months post op from my surgery. I am doing VERY well thank goodness. I am still going to physical therapy 2 times a week. I am not sure how much longer I will have to go but I hope it is not very much longer . I am just tired of having to go to Athens at least twice a week every week. But I am very thankful for my physical therapist, Trey, he has definitely helped me a lot. I went to see my orthopedic surgeon yesterday and he told me how he could still see the inside of my knee plain as day. He said that the other day that he was thinking about me the other day and thinking about how weird my knee was. He said that he has probably done 7,000 to 8,000 arthroscopic surgeries ( which is what I had done) and that he has NEVER seen anything like mine before. So I guess that makes me pretty special. haha. But anyway I just pray that it is fixed for good this time.

I am FiNALLY back at work! I started back last Monday. I am so glad to be back. I was getting bored sitting at home so much. But ever since I have been back I have had the worst cold ever. I just cannot seem to get rid of it. One day I will think that I am getting better but then it will be worse again the next day. But hopefully it will go away soon. I definitely think that 2 weeks is long enough for it to run its course.

I am almost done with school for this quarter. I only have 2 weeks left thank goodness! I am just ready for a break. But I really like it there so I am happy.

Chaz has been doing good too. He was sick a few weeks ago. He is the one who got me sick! How nice of him right? haha. But anyway he is back in Philadelphia now. He left on December 1 and he is supposed to be coming home on the 12th. Since I last posted he has worked in Alabama and South Georgia. I am not sure where he will be going next. He was supposed to be going to Ireland in February of March but he told me yesterday that they might get a job in northern Canada. So I guess we will just have to wait and see! But where ever he goes I am definitely going to visit.

We had a good Thanksgiving and I hope that everyone else did too. We ended up going to Florida to spend it with Chaz's family. I was very very sad that I didn't get to see my family because I have NEVER not seen them on Thanksgiving so it was pretty hard for me but we did have fun in Florida and it was good to get to see all of his family. Now I am just getting ready for Christmas to get here! I am not really anywhere near done with my shopping so since I don't have to work this weekend I am going to try to finish as much of it as I can since I don't really have a lot of time to go shopping these days.

All of the animals are doing good. Bentley is getting so big! I cant believe how big he is! Chaz thinks that we should give him some kind of medicine that will make him stay small forever. haha. But he is a good little baby. Cam is doing good too. He is still my little baby boy. Him and Bentley both sleep with me every night. Ellie, Reagan and Destiny are all doing good too. They play outside all day and have made friends with the neighbors cats. They occasionally invite them over for dinner which makes Chaz mad because he says that we are not going to feed all of the neighborhood cats. haha. When it started getting cold I bought them a bed and a kitty tower and they love both of them. I think Destiny claimed the bed because it seems like she never gets out of it. Harley and A-1 are also doing good. They are getting so big too. We have started feeding them hay in addition to their feed since all of the grass is almost dead. We also have a new addition to our family! We adopted a 10 month old yellow lab that we named Macy. She is very sweet and has lots of puppy energy. She also loves to play with Jett, my mamma's black lab. But he has gotten a little fat lately so she wears him out pretty fast. haha. But we are very glad to have her as part of our family now!

We went and cut down our Christmas tree on Sunday. It is very pretty if I do have to say so myself. We are very happy with it. Now I just have to fill up around the bottom with presents! Bentley loves the tree. I think that he thinks that it is a toy. He has already taken off a few ornaments and played with them around the house. He also has taken some of the lights off too which he got in trouble for but it didn't seem to phase him any. He only messes with it when the lights are on. I guess he thinks they are pretty and he just wants to touch them like a little kid. But he has been getting better about not messing with it. I will try to remember to take some pictures of it and post them on here. I will also put some pictures of Macy on here.

Well... I think that is pretty much everything that has been going on lately. I will not wait so long to post again! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

21 DAYS UNTiL CHRiSTMAS!!

[iT'S BEEN A WHiLE]

Its been a while since I last posted. We have actually been pretty busy the past few weeks. So here it goes...

It has been 5 weeks since I had my surgery. I have still not been released to go back to work and needless to say I am very ready to go back. I have been going to physical therapy twice a week in an effort to regain my range of motion and my strength. My therapist seems to think that I am doing very well. The only thing that my doctor is worried about is the fluid that is on my knee and the swelling. For the most part it has been feeling pretty good...until today. For some reason I have been a pretty good bit of pain. I don't know why but I hope that I feel better tomorrow because I have physical therapy. But over all I am doing well. I go back to the doctor on November 5. So I hope he will say that I can go back to work then.

Chaz has gone back to work. He was in Opelika, Alabama for 3 weeks. He has got to come home the past 2 weekends to that's always nice. This week he is Bainbridge. I'm not sure how long he will be there. He says that it is very boring for the most part because pretty much all he does is just sit there and wait for something to happen. But at least he is getting paid for it! haha.

School is going good for me. This is my 4th week and so far everything is moving along smoothly. I just hope that it will stay that way once I go back to work and don't have as much time to do school work.

This past Sunday was mine and Chaz's 1 year anniversary! I cant believe that it has already been a year! We spent a lovely weekend together. Saturday night we went and had a lovely dinner at The Melting Pot in Duluth. It was so good. I love that place. Then on Sunday we didn't really do a whole lot. We just spent the day together. We ate our wedding cake, which was delicious I might add. Chaz said that it wasn't bad for year old cake! haha. We also had some wine that we had bought in Helen on our honeymoon to have with our cake on our anniversary. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband! I cant wait to spend many many more amazing years with him.

Well I guess that's pretty much it for now!!

[LONG WEEK]

It has been a long week this week. Chaz left Monday to go to Alabama to work. He was supposed to get to come home today but he has to stay for at least another week. The man that he is covering for had to have surgery and has not been released to come back to work so Chaz has to stay there until he can come back, which will probably be another week or so. Then once he is done there he will go straight to Bainbridge. I'm not sure how long he will be there but it will probably be a few weeks. Also it is now official that he will be going to Spain as soon as that job starts which will more than likely be before the end of the year. There is also still a possibility that he will be going to California. And there is a good chance that he will be going to Ireland in March. So it sounds like he will be busy and not home for any extended amount of time anytime soon :( I don't like that at all. But you have to do what you have to do to survive these days. But I am excited about him getting to work at all of these neat places because that means that I get to go visit him there. So I guess that means that I need to go get my passport soon :)

Here is an update on my knee: I went back to the doctor on the 1st. He has still not released me to go back to work because of the swelling and the fluid that is on my knee. I go back to see him on the 15th and if the fluid is not gone he is going to drain it : / I am not looking forward to that. Because from the way that he said he might have to drain it it sounded like he didn't think it was going to go away on its own. But he did say that this is a very common thing to have with this procedure. There is nothing that I can really do about it, it just has to go away by itself if it is going to. I have still been going to physical therapy 2 times a week. I think that it is helping because after my surgery I couldn't really bend my knee at all and now I can barely sit indian style and it is not to painful. So we are definitely making progress and my physical therapist is very pleased with my progress. I hope that after I go back to see my doctor that I will soon be well enough to go back to work. Because now that Chaz is gone and I just sit at home by myself a lot I get really bored. My Mamma does come over a lot and help me do stuff so that I'm not just here all day by myself. But I am still just ready to get out of the house and do stuff.

I started school on Monday. I haven't really done anything so far since it was only the first week all we did was just introduce ourselves. I think that it is probably going to be a long quarter but I know that I can do it. I am just looking forward to really getting started.

As for everyone else they are doing good. Bentley is wild as everything and Cam and Ellie are slowly learning how to play easy with him. At first they were scared of him but I think that they are pretty used to him now so that's good. Destiny and Reagan are doing good too. They just sleep in the garage on my Jeep most of the day. But now that it is getting nice and cool outside they like to sleep in the flower bed under the bushes. Reagan has also made friends with a cat that lives down the road. They like to sit in the driveway together and enjoy the weather. Harley and A-1 are doing good also. They are getting so big. Before Chaz left I was not able to go and feed them because of my knee. But now that he is gone it is my job to take care of them. I am glad to have that responsibility back because I love getting to see them and pet them. I just miss being able to wash and walk Harley because I am not allowed to do anything that I could hurt my knee doing, and playing with her is one of those things :( But hopefully I will be able to do it again soon.

So I guess that is pretty much all that has been going on. Nothing to exciting but I just thought that I would share :)

[SCHOOL, WORK & THE NEW BABY]

I just found out like not even a week ago that I got into the BHS program at NSU. Well I got an e-mail welcoming me to the program and all of that stuff and how to sign up for my classes and to do my orientation and everything. Well I didn't get to do all of that stuff until yesterday because I had a hard time retrieving my PIN from them to sign into all of my things. So I finally got to sign into everything yesterday and if I read everything right... I am supposed to start classes TOMORROW!! Everything that I read before I even applied said that it started in October so I have no idea what is going on. And I don't know how on earth they expect me to do that! I mean I don't have my books or anything. So I don't know what I am going to do. I guess just order all of my books ASAP and hope that they get here really really fast because from all of the syllabi's for my classes it looks like there are going to be assignments due every week. So now I am super stressed out and trying to figure out how I am going to pay for my books and everything because I cant figure out my financial aid stuff... like if it telling me that I got it or not. I don't know what I am going to do! Its pretty bad that I am already this stressed out and I haven't even started my classes yet. Oh it is going to be a long quarter.

Chaz is going to be leaving tomorrow morning to go to Opelika, Alabama. He will be there for about a week and then hopefully he will get to come home for a few days and then he will be going to Bainbridge, Georgia for a week or two. Then he will probably come home for a few weeks and then he will be going back to Opelika for a few weeks. After he is done there he will hopefully be going to Spain or Ireland. We are just waiting to hear which place and when. But it wont be until the end of the year probably. So that means that I have to go get my passport so that I can go visit him. I am going to miss him very much but I am excited and I cant wait to go over there! It is going to be hard without him here since I am really still getting over my surgery and cant really drive yet...or not long distances anyway. So I'm not to sure how my drive to Athens 2 times a week for physical therapy is going to go but I'm sure that I can make it okay. At least my Mamma is close by now and I'm sure that she will take good care of me :)

We also got a new addition to our little family last week. He is furry, gray tiger striped and white, and very very tiny. He is our new sweet little 5 week old kitten, Bentley. He came from the same place that Cam did and we are pretty sure that they are full brothers because one of the other kittens in his litter looks identical to Cam. He is very sweet and super playful. We love him so much already :) Ellie is very good with him but Cam is still not used to him and when Bentley tries to play with Cam he really scares him. It is so funny because Bentley is so small compared to Cam but Cam is still scared of him. Here is our sweet little Bentley sleeping with his toy lion the first day that we got him.

So it looks like we are going to have a busy next few months ahead of us with me trying to get used to my new school and him working all over the place. Wish us luck :)

[RAiN RAiN GO AWAY]

I has been raining for what seems like forever. I would have to say about 12 days because it started raining the day that I had my surgery. I have never seen anything like this before. Everything is flooding! I was starting to worry about the water getting onto our house because we had a lake in the backyard and rivers going down both sides of the house. The water was getting really close in the back... it was over our patio. But thankfully it has gone down now, but we still have a lake. I am ready for it to stop. I mean it is hard enough for me to get out of the house and do anything with my crutches but it is 10 times harder when it is pouring down rain. So hopefully it will stop very soon. There has already been so many peoples homes destroyed and as of this morning 8 people have been killed. It is so sad that so many lives have to be lost like this. All we can do is just pray for all of the families that have lost loved ones and or their homes. I don't think that I will ever forget this.

On another note... we hope that Chaz will be going to Alabama to work soon. We haven't really heard anything about Spain, Italy or Ireland yet but we should hear something once Chaz has his passport in hand and can actually go over there. So hopefully he will get his passport soon and we will get some good news. I still haven't gone back to work yet and I wont be going back before October 1.That's when I go back to the doctor after doing 2 weeks of physical therapy. So hopefully then he will tell me that I can go back to work.

Well I guess that's all for now. Nothing to exciting but I am bored being stuck here at home so I just thought that I would write something. I hope everyone has a good day!!

[ACCEPTED!!]

I finally found out that I got ACCEPTED!! It feels like I have been waiting forever! I was starting that think that maybe I didn't get it. But I checked my e-mail yesterday and had an e-mail saying that I had been accepted and that my acceptance letter and all of the other information were in the mail and should be here soon. I am so excited! I want this so bad. So now I am just ready to get registered, get all of my books and get started. I will hopefully be done by this time next year. Wish me luck!! :)

[3 LESS BODY PARTS]

I am only 1 day post-op right now but for the most part I am feeling okay. I had my surgery yesterday, 9.11.09 and 7:00am. Of course all I remember is getting my IV, talking to all of the doctors and going back to the operating room, then the next thing I knew I was in recovery. But anyway... now for the details. I had quite a few different things wrong once my surgeon got into my knee. My cruciate ligament was 4 times as big as it should be and was taking up the whole front of my knee so he took out most of it to make it the size that it should be. I also had a medial plaque shelf that he took out that should not have been there. He also removed some of the lining of my knee. He thinks that this should really help me because all of those things could have been causing me pain. He also told me that in the 25 years that he has been doing knee surgeries that he has never seen anything like mine... go figure. I guess I am just special. haha. So I am just really hoping and praying that this will help me. I think it should though. I am still in a pretty good bit of pain right now though, but the next day is always the worst day. I have just been taking my pain medicine every 4 hours and keeping it elevated, putting ice on it for one hour and then off for an hour, and only getting up to go to the bathroom. All of that is pretty hard for me to do because I don't like to be stuck inside on the couch. I also have to use crutches for a few days but I am doing good with them so far and actually using them. I tired to go outside earlier and sit on our bench but by the time I made it out there my foot was starting to swell and turn purple so Chaz made me come right back inside and back on the couch with my foot propped up. But I get to take all of my bandages off tonight so I am excited about that because they are starting to itch.

Now I am going to brag... on my amazing husband :) Chaz has been so wonderful! I don't know what I would do without him. He has been waiting on me hand and foot ever since we got home yesterday. He even got up with me in the middle of the night to help me get up and to the bathroom. Everything I have needed he has got for me. Including refilling my cup with juice every 30 minutes because my mouth and throat are still so dry from the anesthesia that I drink more than should be humanly possible. The he helps me get op to go to the bathroom ever 45 minutes to an hours because I drink so much. haha. And then putting on and taking the ice off of my knee every hour. He also gets me a snack every 4 hours so that I can take my pain medicine because I have to take it with food. And then on top of all of that he lets me watch whatever I want to watch on TV :) He also keeps me from doing the stuff that I'm not supposed to do because I am really bad about not obeying doctors orders when it involves me just laying on the couch and not being able to do anything for myself. I just really don't know what I would do without him. He is the best husband that I could have ever asked for! He is taking such good care of me. I love him soooooo much!

I have also had another little helper that has been helping his Daddy take care of me. Cam has been sleeping with me a lot since I got home. He is such a sweet little baby :) Here he is helping take care of Mommy a few hours after I got home.

He is such a good little helper :)

So hopefully I can be on a speedy road to recovery now and that I can be pain free after I am healed. So please continue to pray for me! And thank you to those who have already been praying for me throughout my long journey with my messed up knee :)

[GOiNG UNDER THE KNiFE]

On Friday I am going to have knee surgery... again. This will be my second knee surgery in 2 years. I really hope that they can figure out what is wrong because if my doctor cant find anything then I will just have to live with the pain because we have exhausted all of the other options and surgery was the last resort... and here we are. So I just hope and pray that it can be fixed. My knee is very strange... the surgery that I had done in 2007 was done by a different surgeon than I am going to now. The surgeon that I got to now has never heard of the thing that I had removed from my knee by the other surgeon. So he is still puzzled about that he says. Also because nothing ever shows up on my x-rays or MRI's he has no idea what is causing all of my pain. So when I go in for my surgery he is basically just going to look around inside of my whole entire knee and see if there is anything that it not normal and hopefully he will font something and he said that whatever he finds he will fix. I know you don't want for something to be wrong with you but in this case I want something to be wrong with me so that my doctor can find it and fix it rather than me just have to keep going on with my life living with all of this pain. I go tomorrow morning at 8:00 for my pre-op. That's when they will tell me what time my actual surgery will be, how long my recovery time will be and all of that other good stuff. Hopefully I wont be out of work for to long because I definitely cant afford to be. But over all I'm not worried about anything because I have been through this before. This will be my 3rd orthopedic surgery in 2 years and overall it will be my 6th surgery. So all of this is definitely nothing new to me which is pretty bad to say since I am only 22. But I would rather get everything fixed now while I am young so that I can recover faster and then I wont have to worry about having all of this done when me and Chaz have kids. So please just pray that everything goes well and that my knee can be fixed.

If you didn't already know Chaz has not worked in over 3 months now. We have been waiting to hear something from his uncle about where he will be going. Well he talked to his uncle and he doesn't have a definite date or place but he will know soon, his uncle just has to wait for the boss to get back in the country and then he will be able to find out a definite answer. But as of now Chaz could go to California, Spain or Ireland. I hope that he goes to California just because I don't think that I will like him leaving the country for a long time. But we will see. I am just going to pray that he goes there. So hopefully we will hear some good news soon.

But I guess that's all that has been happening lately. I will hopefully feel good enough to post Saturday or Sunday about my surgery.


[JESSiCA CHERiSH♥CHARLES WESLEY]

[DiFFERENT STUFF]

Not much has been going on lately. I have just been waiting to find out if I got into NSU or not. I am starting to get very aggravated with them. In order to be accepted into the program that I am applying to you have to have at least 2 years or work experience in the medical field so you have to send them a resume. Well I was not aware of this but as soon as I found out that they needed it I was told that I could fax it so that they would get it faster than mailing it. Well... I faxed it for the first time on August 27. Two days later it was still not showing up on my account that they had received it so I sent them an e-mail asking if they had got it... they had not. No by the time I figured out that they had not got it it was Tuesday of this week. So I immediately faxed it again to the number that I was told. And as of today it is still not showing up on my account that they received it. I have since then sent 3 e-mails trying to find out if they received it this time or not. Well so far I have heard nothing. I sent one Tuesday, Wednesday and yesterday. So now I am just getting ill that I cant find anything out. And mind you... I got a fax confirmation both times I faxed it. So I don't know what the problem is but I'm getting fed up with it. I mean school starts next month and I still don't know anything. That doesn't leave very much time to pay tuition, register for classes and get my books. So I just hope that I hear something soon.

On another note me and Chaz are desperately looking for somewhere else to live. We hate where we live now and do not feel safe at all. We do not feel safe because in the past week we have had 2 of our vehicles broken into and someone tried to steal our boat but we heard them and scared them away. It is getting ridiculous when you cant even feel safe in your own house. So if anybody knows of any houses for rent in the Good Hope, Madison, Bostwick areas PLEASE let us know.

On a BETTER note... I have been working with Harley a lot more and she has come a long way. Now you can walk right up to her and not have to chase her around to catch her. She loves go on walks and to get a bath. She is also learning how to eat sugar cubes but for now she just slobbers all over your hand while she licks the sugar cube. Its cute though :) She also likes to swing her tail all around when she is getting a bath just so she can get me all wet. She is so sweet though. I can stand beside her and she will put her head up against me because she wants me to scratch her head. I love my little Miss Harley! And I cant wait until I get to show her :)

♥ME & MiSS HARLEY♥

We now have 2 more family members at our house! Well they are not new to the family but they are new to our house. My kitties Destiny and Reagan now live with us. It took them a few days to get adjusted but they are fine now and they love it there. Destiny likes to prowl in the tall grass and see what she can catch. Reagan likes to lay in the bushes and watch my birds on the bird feeders. But she never tries to get them... she just watches. They really like to sit with Chaz while he grills out. I think that they are waiting for him to share the food with them. I am so glad that they get to live with us now. They are so loving and are always glad to see you when ever you are outside.

Well I guess that's about it for now. Nothing to much has really been happening. But just pray that I hear something from NSU soon and that me and Chaz can find another house so that we don't have to be scared that someone is going to break in every night.

JESSiCA CHERiSH♥CHARLES WESLEY

[WAiTiNG...]

If you didn't already know... I can get kind of impatient about somethings. Well right now I am being impatient. I finally submitted my application to NSU and mailed my high school transcript and my transcript request to ABAC to have my transcript sent to NSU, my recommendations, which were a requirement, and a copy of my CPhT. certification. And I already filled out my financial aid application, which I better be able to get! So everything on my side of it is DONE! Now I just have to wait... NOT fun. I am going to drive myself crazy. I just keep going over everything in my mind and trying to think if there is any reason that I shouldn't get it but I cant think of anything. I meet all of the requirements and had 2 great recommendations from 2 pharmacists. But still I am going to drive myself nuts until I find out. But the good thing is that they do admissions on a rolling bases which means that they go through the applications as they get them. Usually when that is the case you find out something faster. So I really hope to hear something hopefully by the end of the week. So hopefully I will that way I wont be crazy for to long. Poor Chaz :( haha. And so that I can have a good weekend. I just want this so bad and I am NOT giving up! I have came way to far and my parents have spent way to much money for me not to get my degree! So please just pray for me and wish me luck that I get in while I sit here and go looney waiting...

[NEW STUDENT?]

Well I finally did it... I filled out my application online for NSU. Although... I haven't submitted it yet I will as soon as I get all of my stuff ready to mail off. I just want to look over it again before it is final. I am VERY VERY nervous about it though. I don't know why I am so nervous because I definitely meet all of the requirements to get it. But I feel sick every time that I think about it! I guess I just want it so bad that I will be crushed if I dont get in this time. I just hope that I do so that I can get started in October and hurry up and get done. But if I don't get in I will just apply again in December to start in January. But I just hope and pray that I get in this time and don't have to go through this again. The application deadline is September 1st so I have to get on the ball. I hope that I can get everything done this week and then I will hopefully find something out soon! So just pray that I get in!

[PAiN & LOVE♥]

I went to my orthopedic surgeon on Tuesday. My physical therapy has not been helping... it has actually been making my knees hurt worse and now my hip is bothering me too. I told my doctor this and he told me that he basically has no idea what is wrong with me and my physical therapist cant figure anything out either. So my doctor put me on a new medicine called Neurontin. It is actually for seizures but can be used for nerve damage. He said that he thinks that I may have a damaged nerve in my knee and wants to see if this medicine will help me. I'm pretty sure that this is a last resort because he said that he wants to try this one last thing before we resort to surgery. He said that if he did surgery he would basically just go in and look and see what is in there that is not right. So far all the medicine has done is help me sleep :/ which is pretty much just a side effect but at least for once I am sleeping! haha. I hope the medicine works but then again I would rather him just go ahead and do surgery and fix it instead of me having to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life to keep my knee from hurting. He said that he doesn't want me to have to go through surgery again but I told him that I didn't care because what haven't I been through at this point? So I go back in a month and I guess we will just go from there. Until then I have to keep going to physical therapy :(

On a better note... I have been working with Harley since we got her up here in Sunday. And just a FYI I have been doing it all by myself since Chaz has been in Florida. Everyday she has came closer and closer to me just by me having her awesome hot pink feed bucket with some feed in and by me talking to her. Yesterday when I went to feed her I was absolutely shocked! I did my "bucket trick" as I like to call it and she came RUNNiNG to me and started eating it! And the she put her nose on my stomach and I petted her!! It was amazing! That was the first time that I have touched her when she was somewhere that she could get away from me. It was the best feeling ever! So I am pretty proud of myself for doing it all by myself without antibody's help. Chaz is proud of me to because I really don't think that he thought that I could do it... but I did! And now I think that he is a little bit jealous because Harley will not go to him, even if he does the "bucket trick". haha. It makes me feel good that she trusts me that much and not anybody else. I know that it sounds weird but I think that we already have a special bond together because I am the first person that she has trusted like that. I love her! She is so sweet and such a pretty little heifer! haha. I will try to remember to take some pictures of her today and put them on here. Chaz is going to attempt to put a halter on her today. We tried to do it yesterday but her awesome new hot pink halter is not formed good yet so it was to hard to get it on here while she was trying to get away from it. So Chaz is going to use his old halter that is formed good to catch her this afternoon so that I can start touching her more and brushing her. I cant wait. I just hope that I don't get kicked or stepped on. but if I do I guess its just part of being a cowgirl :) I get up every morning 30 minutes earlier than I used to and I go feed Harley and A-1, then I go to work. Then I go back in the evenings and do my "bucket trick" on Harley and feed them. But I love doing it though. It will be even better when Harley is completely tame and I can just walk up to her and put a halter on her and walk her around and give he baths and everything. And yes... I will give her lots of baths. You have to bathe show cows a lot because it keeps their hair clean and soft and it helps it grow. So I will be doing lots of cow bathing :)

I am so glad that it is Friday because I cant wait to go home and play with Harley and get to do stuff with her all weekend! Now if this day will just hurry up and be over so I can go home!

JESSiCA CHERiSH♥CHARLES WESLEY
FOREVER & EVER NO MATTER WHAT... WE PROMiSE :)
10.18.08-FOREVER♥

[MOO]

I think that we had a pretty eventful weekend. Chaz was in Florida all last week helping his cousin Jason catch cows and bale hay before he had to go back to Bogota,Columbia this week. Some of the cows that they caught were our cows. We have been trying to bring them up here for months it seems like but have never been able to... until Saturday! Chaz finally brought them home! I am so glad that they are finally here. The 2 mamma cows, Maddie and Noel, are in Gray. I wish they didn't have to be so far away but at least they are closer than Florida. And Maddie is 35-50 days pregnant! Yay another baby! The vet said that it was to early to tell if Noel was pregnant but hopefully she is too. The baby cows, Harley and A-1 are at me Pape and Nanna's house which is only about 1 mile from our house so they are very close to us. Harley is my heifer that I am hopefully going to show sometime soon. She is almost 11 months old. We are going to start breaking her when Chaz gets home. I'm sure it will definitely be an experience! But none the less I cant wait to do it. So anyway... Chaz had to borrow his Uncle Wilbur's truck and cow trailer to bring them up here so he had to take it back down there. He left last night and hopefully wont be down there to long. He has to help Jason bale 20 more acres of hay before it rains so I hope that it doesn't rain and he will get to come home on Tuesday. But I have been watching the weather... like always... and so far there is no rain in sight for central Florida. I just hope that it stays that way for the next 2 days. I hate when he is gone for a week and then comes home for like 24 hours and then has to leave again for 2 or 3 days. I miss him :(

On another note we are still nowhere with getting a loan. I guess we are just going to give up for now because nothing is looking very promising. We are just going to sign another 1 year lease where we are now and then try to get a loan when Chaz gets his tax returns sometime during the beginning of the year because everybody that we talked to said that they had to have that before they can give us a loan. I just hope and pray that they were not lying. If you cant tell I just really don't trust loan people these days because so many of them have basically lied to us since we started trying to get pre-approved for a loan. I'm just ready to buy a house and be done with it!

On a happy note my Daddy and Mamma finally moved into their new house!! I am so excited because now they are only about 1.2 miles away from us! And if you don't know my Mamma is my best friend so I love being that close to her so that I can see here everyday :) And I know that they are so glad to finally be living there. All of the animals love it too because they are just free to run around and you don't have to worry about them running into the road. Also Jett loves being able to go swimming at Papa and Nanna's house whenever he wants to. haha. Also my Daddy had to have a heart cath done last Thursday. Everything went great and the doctor said that his heart is perfect! So now he is just a little bit sore and cant lift anything that weighs more than a milk jug until this Thursday. He also cant swim until this Thursday and Jett is very sad about that because Daddy would usually take him swimming everyday. But anyway it is just good to know that there is no blockage or no nothing at all.

Now yet another update on my stupid knee. It still hurts and now my other knee is really hurting me. I go back to the doctor tomorrow morning so I guess I will just see what he has to say. I'm just not sure that all this physical therapy is working. the first 2 weeks actually made it worse so for the past 2 weeks all I have been doing is stretches. I don't want to have surgery again but right now to me it is looking like that is what is going to have to happen :( And I have physical therapy tomorrow afternoon too. Or I might not if my doctor decides that it is not helping any. So I get to spend my day in Athens tomorrow with my Mamma because she is going to meet me there after my doctors appointment so that we can find her some curtains for the new house and so that I can be occupied until my physical therapy appointment. We are going to go eat at the Varsity for lunch! We cant wait. We love that place!

Well I guess that it pretty much it for now! We hope you have a great day :)

[VACATiON PLEASE?]

He lately I have been very tired of going to work. I don't know why I just hate having to get up every morning and drive 50 minutes and then sit at work for 8 1/2 hours and then drive another 50 minutes home. I have just been SO tired the past few weeks... I am definitely thinking that I need a vacation. I just need some time to relax with Chaz before he has to leave again. I feel like I haven't had any time to relax in like 2 years. haha. I have just had some much going on the past few months with school, working 2 jobs, and Chaz being gone, that I have had no time to just go away and have fun with him. Well we really haven't been able to do that since we got married. I mean we have gone away for the weekend one or two times but that's just not enough. So... I think that I am going to plan a week long vacation for us :) i think that it is much needed. I don't know where to go though. I want to go to the beach but I dont know where. I would love to go to St. George but Chaz doesn't like to go to the same place a lot of times... weird... so I don't know. I guess I will just look at different places and prices and see what I can find. Or I mean if we could at least just go for a long weekend that would work too. I just want like 4 days and I will be good. I probably need to plan our little vacation for sometime soon though since we dont know when Chaz will be leaving. I guess I need to get planning then!

Nothing much has been going on other than us needing a vacation. I have been going to the physical therapist for 2 weeks now. I'm not sure if it is helping anything... it just hurts really bad. But I hope that it will work because I really don't want to have to have another surgery anytime soon. I go for 2 more weeks and then I go back to my orthopedic surgeon and see what he says. I have also gotten all of the information and everything about the school that I want to go to. The deadline for the application is September 1... I haven't done it yet. I guess I'm just scared that I wont get in. But I guess I just need to try, I have done this enough that I shouldn't be scared about it. I guess its just because this school would be SO good for me and I'm just scared because I want it so bad. So Hopefully I can get up enough courage to do it soon no that I am done with summer school and all of that crap. So please pray that I get in :)

Chaz will probably be leaving soon... and I am NOT looking forward to it. But when he does leave he will be in Georgia and Alabama so at least he will be close. I hate when he is gone :( And I hate that he will not really have a lot of notice when he has to leave either. He is just waiting for them to e-mail him and say ok, we are ready for you to come now. And then he will be gone in a few days. I just wish they could give him a date more in advance when they are going to need him. But I guess that's just life. At least he has a good job. Now if we could just buy a house everything would be PERFECT :)

[UNEXPLAiNED PAiNS]

Most people already know that I have a lot of knee problems. I have been going to the orthopedic surgeon since March trying to figure out what is wrong with my knee now since my surgery that I had in March of 2007 was a failure. In May I had a MRI and x-rays done. My MRI showed that I have chondromalacia patella which means that I have damage to the cartilage under my kneecap which causes me a lot of pain. The nurse described it to me as that my cartilage looks like crab meat, it is supposed to be smooth. So I went back to see my doctor last week and did some more test including a strength test for my legs. To mine and my doctors surprise my right knee, which it the messed up one, is actually stronger than my left knee which is kind of weird because of all the problems I have with my right knee. He is and has been very puzzled by my knee. He just cant seem to figure out what is wrong and he only wants surgery to be a last resort. He is also very puzzled about my last surgery that I had. I had a lateral plaque shelf removed, he has never even heard of a lateral plaque shelf which is very strange. So anyway he was telling me about another patient that he had that was about the same age as me and had all of the same symptoms too. he couldn't figure out what was wrong with her either. After months and months of trying to find out what was wrong he finally figured it out. She had a problem controlling the way she walked. It was not an obvious problem because you could not tell from watching her walk but it was causing her a lot of pain. So she did trunk strengthening exercises with a physical therapist and in 4 weeks her problem was solved! Apparently the way you use your upper body to control how you walk can cause you pain if you don't do it right. So he thinks that's what might be wrong with me. I go to my first physical therapy appointment this afternoon. I really hope this works because I don't want to have surgery again. I just don't want to be in pain anymore, or at least not as much pain. So I hope everything goes well! I'm sure it will not be fun but maybe it will be worth it in the end :)

[BEACH WEEKEND]

Me and Chaz had a WONDERFUL weekend! He took me to Fernandina Beach/Amelia Island in Florida. We had SO much fun! We found lots of sea shells and ate at some really good restaurants. He also got me a new bead to go on my Pandora charm bracelet to remember our weekend get away by. Its a light green and light blue glass bead and I love it. He is so sweet :) We had so much fun just walking on the beach and riding around looking at the island. We also went downtown to all the little shops, which I loved. One of the places that we ate at was called The Crab Trap. It was sooooo good! I could eat there everyday. The food was amazing. We also went down to the marina and looked at all the boats. Then on Sunday when we checked out of the hotel we decided that we would drive over to Jekyll Island and spend the day there since it was on the way home. We did pretty much the same thing there. We walked on the beach for most of the day and we had lunch at a little place called Zachary's, which was very good. The we drove down to the pier and around the historic part of town. It was so much fun for me to go back there since I haven't been in so long. Its funny how everything looks the same but how so much has changed. I still love it down there and we are already planning another trip back down there. It just brings back so many great memories being down there again :) While we were walking down the beach I saw a place where it looked like something had started burying itself so i started to dig it up. Well Chaz came to help me, bad idea! I had found a conch shell and when Chaz went to pull it out his finger slipped and it cut his finger open VERY bad. He probably should have gone to the hospital for him to get stitches but of course he wouldn't have that! So we just washed it and put a band-aid on it. Poor baby :( but I'm pretty sure he will be ok. That was they only bad thing that happened on the whole trip which was good. Well except that i got like 10 sand spurs in my foot! That is the one thing that I do not miss about Jekyll! haha. So we had a fantastic time there! Then we decided that we would ride over to St. Simons. So we did but we could never find out how to get to the beach. Every little road that went to it was a private drive so we just gave up on it and decided to head home. We took the scenic route because we were tired of being on I-95 after only about 25 miles and still about about 70 miles to go. It was nice to see some different scenery. It was a great weekend! I wish that it didn't have to end so soon but now we are back to reality and I already cut my finger at work first thing this morning. What a way to start my week. haha.

[SURPRiSE]

Nothing has really been happening lately. We are still in the same place as we were as far as trying to buy a house. But hopefully something will happen soon. Chaz is still at home. He is supposed to be going to Bainbridge and Alabama sometime soon. I'm glad that he gets to go there and doesn't have to go anywhere far away. I only have 1 week of school left this semester and then I am done with GPC and am going to apply to NSU and hopefully get to start in October.
Tomorrow is mine and Chaz's 9 month anniversary! We are going on a surprise trip! He told me at the beginning of the week that he was going to take me somewhere for the weekend because I have been wanting to go somewhere for a while now just to be able to get away from everything and be able to relax... which is something that I never seem to have time to do. So I'm really excited about that! Now if my day at work will just go by fast, which so far it is not. It seems like I have been here forever but I still have about 6 hours before I get off :( I am just so ready to get away and not have to worry about anything for a few days. I know that we will have a great time because we always do :) But I just realized yesterday that we will be away on out little trip on our anniversary! I thought that it was neat. So we will probably go out and have a nice dinner tomorrow night. I must say that I have the best husband in the whole universe :) He really is the best thing that has ever happened to me!
I realized that I haven't said anything about Cam and Ellie in a while so here is a little update on our little babies. Came is doing great! He is getting so big. I thought that he would have stopped growing by now because he will be 2 this year but he just keeps getting bigger and bigger. He goes through these phases where he wants to run out the door every time you open it. He hasn't done it in a while but he started it again this week. Every time I try to go out I cant get out fast enough and he is already out the door and in the yard. He just goes out there chews on the grass and sniffs all around. Usually you can catch him because he is a little scared of the outside and wont run away from you when you go towards him. Well he ran the other day. We were grilling out and I went out and got out and I was going to put him back inside but Chaz said to leave him out and just see what he does and that he would watch him. Well Cam made a run for the woods with Chaz running right behind him! It was quite funny I must say. But Chaz caught him just before he could get to the trees which was good because I just know that he would climb to the top of one of those pine trees! But other than his phase he is doing great! He is just as sweet and lovable as ever :) Ellie is doing great too. She will be a year old next month. She is getting so big! She is a good girl, she doesn't try to run outside like Cam does. She prefers to stay inside and sleep on their bed in front of the window. She does get her crazy bursts of energy where she just goes nuts running all around the house. Its funny though because I think that sometimes she gets to running so fast that she scares herself! It is so funny! So she is just as sweet as ever too :)
Well I guess that's all for now! I cant wait till this afternoon when we get to leave for our trip :) I hope everybody has a great weekend!

[FiNGERS CROSSED]

Over the past few weeks we have still been having a lot of trouble trying to get pre-approved for a loan because of Chaz's job. My Aunt Wanda is a real estate agent and has been doing a lot of research for us and we think that she has found a mortgage company that will give us a loan. So we are just waiting to find out more about that this week and hopefully we will get to start looking for a house very soon. We are keeping out fingers crossed for the time being. So that's about all that has been going on with that. I don't want to look for houses because I don't want to find one that we like and then us not be able to get a loan and then we will just get let down again and I'm getting really tired of that lately so we don't want to get our hopes up about anything until we are certain that we will be able to get a loan.

As most of you know I am still in school... blah... and that it doesn't look like there is any end in sight. Well I think that I might have found an end! A friend of our that goes to our church just graduated from an online school called Nova Southeastern University where he got his masters completely online. So I thought that I would look into it and I am SOOO glad that I did! So I have decided to apply there and try to start in the Fall of 2010 because I think that is the soonest that I could start but if I can start this fall then I am going to do that. But either way I am going to go to this school. I don't care how many times I have to apply I am not going to let anything stop me until I get accepted. The program that I am going to do is the Bachelor of Health Sciences or B.H.Sc. It is 120 credit hours but I should already have a lot of them done and hopefully they will transfer there and it wont take me very long to graduate. The good thing is that all of the classes are all health related and none of them are stupid classes that don't matter like all the ones that I am taking right now. And they are all completely online. So after I am done with this semester it is good bye to Georgia Perimeter and hello Nova Southeastern! I am so excited and I cant wait to start everything! Hopefully this will be a good thing for me to do and actually benefit me in the future.

Another good thing that happened yesterday is that Chaz found us somewhere to put our cows for free. It is his moms friends land and they just want something to keep the grass down so that he does not have to bush hod it. It is 15.5 acres and pasture, hardwoods, a creek and a barn. And the best thing is is that we don't have to pay anything! So hopefully we will be able to get them up here soon. And now I can get me a baby red cow since we have somewhere to put them. So I am very excited about that! Now we get to go to sells and to different farms of people that Chaz's knows so that I can pick out the perfect one :)

We got a new boat about 2 weeks ago so we have been going fishing some. It has been really fun. We have been going to Hard Labor Creek because our boat is a little to small to to take to Lake Oconee. But we still have fun there and I get to work on my tan too. haha. Hopefully we will get to go this weekend.

We also went to my Aunt Chris and Uncle Art's 4th of July party that they have every year. It was really fun. They had a lot of good fire works and good food. I also held little Katelyn for the first time :) She is so tiny! And she is so sweet. It was fun getting to hold her after I got over being scared that I was going to hurt her because she is so little. She just slept and would wiggle around every few minutes. Then she started crying so I handed her off to Clay. haha. We had a great time though.

Well that is pretty much all that has been going on lately... nothing really that exciting. It has just been a boring past few weeks. But hopefully some exciting things will happen soon :)

[NOPE... i TAKE iT BACK]

Me and Chaz have been wanting to buy a house ever since we got married but we have just been waiting for our lease to be up on our house that we live in now. So 2 weeks ago we finally did all of the paperwork and everything to get pre-approved for a loan because most real estate companies want you to be pre-approved before they will even show you any houses. So I faxed them the paperwork and the lady that I had been talking with had told me that she would find something out that Monday which was the 15th. Well we never heard anything. So I think it was Wednesday that she e-mailed me with a few questions and said that once she had the answers that she would be able to tell us a number on Thursday so I answered them and sent it back the same day. Thursday rolls around and we hear nothing and to make it all even better she is off on Fridays so that pushed it back to this past Monday... a week after we were supposed to have a number. So I got an e-mail Monday afternoon with a number and a very nice number at that! It was much more than we had expected and we were SOOO excited and started looking for houses Monday evening. We found a few that we were going to go ride by and look at on Tuesday before we called the realtors. Well needless to say that didnt happen... the lady was supposed to call me during my lunch break, so I didnt eat lunch and waited for her to call... well she never did! She ended up calling Chaz later that afternoon. While she was talking to him she found out that he is a 10-99 worker which basically means he is self employed, which if she would have called to confirm his employment she would have already known. Well obviously she didnt because she had no idea that he was!! So then she told him that since he was self-employed that we cant get a loan until he can prove that he has had that job for a year!! So she basically pre-approved us and then turned around and took it away because she didnt thoroughly check things out!! Needless to say I was LIVID!! I can NOT believe that she did that! It doesnt even make any since!! And on top of that she said that we couldnt get a FHA load because our credit scores were not high enough and people who are self employed cant get a FHA load!! Well that is all complete CRAP!! You only have to have 580 credit score and both of ours are in the 600's and it says that you can be self employed!! So that woman has NO freakin idea what in the world she is talking about!! It is just absolutely ridiculous!! I have a right mind to go and complain because she did not do her job very well!! Its all so aggravating because everybody else our age is getting loans and they dont have jobs that are any better that ours and our are better than a lot of theirs so I dont understand how that can get loans and we cant!! Im just so mad and aggravated with all of this crap. It just amazes me how everything seems to always go wrong for us. It seems like nothing ever goes in our favor. I just dont know. But I guess we are going to try to go somewhere else and see what they say because according to everything that I can find there is nothing that would make us not be able to get a FHA loan. So I guess just wish us luck that we can get all of this crap straightened out and be able to get a house sometime soon!!

Hopefully things will get better and start working in our favor. But for now we are just trying to stay positive :)

[BiRTHDAY'S & DR. APPOiNTMENT'S]

The past few days have been very busy for us.

On Saturday I had a surprise 21st birthday party for Chaz. Needless to say it was very hard to keep it all a secret and keep him away from the house while I got everything done. I had planned on getting a early start but that didnt happen because Friday night Chaz didnt get home from Florida until 2:30am so obviously he didnt want to get up in the morning. So by the time he got up and "Mamma called me and asked if we could go help Daddy at the new house" so by the time we got to the new house it was almost 1:00pm. I stayed over there for a little while and we got some lunch and everything like we normally would. The at about 1:45pm I told Chaz that I was getting a migraine and I was going to go home and take my medicine and lay down for a little while and then I would come back. Well of course that was all a lie :) So I finally got home and got started cooking everything at 2:00pm and everybody was supposed to be there at 4:00pm! I thought I was going to go crazy trying to get everything done but with the help of my Mamma and Nanna and pretty much everybody else the only thing that wasn't done when he got there was the chocolate icing for his cake. I think that we did pretty good getting everything done in time. Then Daddy brought him home and we all surprised him! It ended up being a lot of fun and I hope that everybody else had fun too!

Sunday was Chaz's actual birthday but we didnt really do anything. We slept late and then went and got something to eat and pretty much just relaxed for the afternoon which was nice for a change. Then we decided that we would just go ride around and look at stuff. We really enjoy just riding around out where there is nothing but land and cows and just doing nothing. We actually ended up finding a few houses that we really like so now we are just waiting to hear back from the bank about getting pre-approved for a loan and then we will just go from there and hopefully it will all work out.

On Monday I had to go back to the orthopedic surgeon again and it was not a very pleasant experience :( I have been taking Celebrex and it hasent been working which is not good. So after he poked and prodded my knee for a little while he decided that there there was fluid in it so he was going to try to get it out. BAD IDEA! First he put about 15mL of lidocaine int my knee to numb it... it hurt so bad!! Then he tried to get the fluid out and hardly even 1mL came out and he just kept digging all around and pushing on my knee trying to get it out but it just wouldnt come out. He said that the fluid is probably just so think that it wont come out through a needle. So then he put about 15 more mL in along with 2mL of solu-medrol. And then of course me being me my knee would not stop bleeding! It was soaking the gauze pads with blood and the nurse said that that is not normal for me to be bleeding like that at my age and that I needed to have it checked out. So now I have to go have that checked out. He also gave me some Voltaren gel to put on my knee 4 times a day. It is for osteoarthritis so maybe it will help me because I dont know what he will do next if this doesnt help. I just want my knee to not hurt all the time anymore! And right now it is hurting even more than usual because of everything it had done to it. Not to mention it looks like a water balloon and it is so bruised and sore. Hopefully it will get better from that soon. But anyway... after I went to the doctor we went and ate at the Varsity. It was sooooo good!! Then we went to Hard Labor Creek State Park and went fishing for a little while. Then we came home and Chaz grilled out for my Dad and Mom, Trey, Thomas and Laura. It was really good and everybody had a good time. So over all it was a good day minus my knee being traumatized. haha.

We didnt really do anything yesterday. I just worked and Chaz did stuff around the house and washed my jeep for me when I go home from work. He is such a good hubby :) And he had dinner waiting for me and we ate and then I ended up falling asleep because I didnt really feel good because of my knee and I think that I have some kind of little virus that I just cant seem to kick. I will probably end up having to go to the doctor for it eventually but we will see. Im just being stubborn I guess but oh well! Maybe it will go away on its own and soon because Im tired of feeling like crap :(

This morning Chaz brought me to work because he had to have my jeep because he is getting me new tires today! yay! Its about time considering that my tires now have 64, 000 miles on them and they are only supposed to be good for 50,000 I think it is definitely time for new ones. He is also going to change my oil since it has not been changed in like 7,000 miles. So it looks like I am going to have a whole new jeep when I get home! So today should turn out to be an eventful day. Me and Chaz are going out to eat tonight. I dont know where but he just said last night that we would go out to eat tonight so I must say that I am looking forward to that... no cooking, no dishes to wash and nothing to clean up... sounds good to me :)

I have now decided that this week is going to be the longest week ever. After everything that we have done the past few days and the pain I have been in and all. Well the fun doesnt stop today! Chaz just informed me earlier that he has been asked to go to Alabama this Saturday to judge the Alabama Limousin Field Day! I think that it is very exciting even though I am going to be pooped my the time this week is over. So that should be really fun! I just think that it is neat that he was asked to be a judge in a different state. So now I have something to look forward too for Saturday. Now I just have to find time somewhere this week to go and get Fathers Day presents. Hopefully I cant find time to do everything and get all of my homework done too! Wish me luck :)

[FiNALLY FRiDAY]

Its finally Friday!! I am so glad. It seems like this week has gone by so slow. I have had TONS of stuff to do! My summer classes are already kicking my butt! I have so much homework that has to be done TODAY and Im only done with about half of it. So it looks like I have to go home and do homework even though I have a million other things that I need to do too. I will be so glad when these 7 weeks are over... if I even survive. I hate school :(

On a better note... Chaz is coming home from Florida today. I didnt even want him to go because its not like he is going to be home forever and I want to spend all the time with him that I can before he has to leave again in probably about 2 weeks. I just dont know how I feel about all of this lately. I know that this job is pretty much the best thing that could have happened to us right now but I just really hate it! I have being away from my husband for months at a time. Some people say that they have to be away from their husbands for months at a time because they are in the army... well to me that is different because if somebody is in the army you know that they are going to have to leave sometime or another so you have time to prepare yourself for them to be gone. I only had about a day to get used to it and then he was gone. But really I didnt even have that long because his uncle called him on a Friday night and asked him if he wanted the job and he said yes and we left for Florida the next day and then the day after that he was gone. So its not like I even got to spend time with him before he had to leave because we were pretty much on the road almost the whole time. I just dont like it. He has basically been gone for a fourth of our marriage and thats not how it was supposed to be :( I just dont know what to do because he cant just quit... I guess I just have to deal with it even though I dont want to. Being married isnt about just dealing with something but I dont know what else I am supposed to do about it. Sometimes I just want to cry because I dont know what else to do. I dont want to have a marriage where he is gone all the time... at least not forever. Its fine for now because I am the only one that has to suffer the consequences of being by myself all the time, but I want to have kids some day soon and I want them to have a daddy, not some man that is their dad but they dont really know it because he is gone for months at a time and then only comes home for 2 weeks. Our kids will NOT have a life like that! I just wish that he could at least work in Georgia, that would be good enough for me because then he could come home every night. Thats all I ask for is to be able to have dinner with my husband and then go to bed in the same bed. I mean is that to much to ask for? I just hope that everything works out soon and he will get to be in Georgia. I know that this probably sounds greedy or selfish of me and all about me me me... and I need I need I need... and I want I want I want... but I didnt mean for it to come out that way... I just needed to vent... sorry :(

But I guess Im done for today. Im just sitting here at work and Im completely done with everything that I have to do today and its not even 12:30... so it looks like I have 4 more hours of nothing to do. I just hope it goes by fast.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and a great weekend!

[.....]

Chaz left to go to Florida today. Not to work though, just to help his Uncle cut hay and catch cows. Im not very happy about it because he has only been home for a week and he is already gone again and hes not coming home until Friday. I mean I want to spend all the time with him that I can considering that he will be leaving again at the end of this month. But I guess there is nothing that I can do about it because he is already on his way down there as i write this :( But hopefully he will at lease be bringing back Harley and A-1 with him. I wish that I could have at least gone with him but I have to work of course. Dont get me wrong, I love my job but sometimes I hate work... now is one of those times! I would much rather be spending time with my husband. I guess thats just life though, I know Im not the only one that has to go though it... I just hate it.

Then on top of all of that my summer classes started yesterday and I am already completely overwhelmed! I am taking 4 classes in 7 weeks! I know that Im probably crazy and now Im realizing it. This is going to be an extremely stressful next 7 weeks. School... Chaz leaving again... work... trying to find a house... I dont know what I am going to do, especially when I am having to do it all by myself because Chaz is gone. Just please say a little prayer for me that I cant make it through the next 7 weeks without going crazy because I know that in no way is it going to be easy.

Well I guess thats all for today... I have to get back to my tons of homework already! How fun...

[LATELY]

Since Chaz has been home we really havent done anything eventful but it still seems like we havent stopped going since the second he got off the plane. The day he got home from the airport we came home and ate lunch and then got back in the car and headed to McDonough to Summit so that Chaz could get some new stuff for his truck. I was fun though, I was just glad to be with him finally! Then on Wednesday as soon as I got home from work we went to Athens to Athens Regional to see my Nanny. She is doing great and will hopefully get to come home soon! Then when we got home from there we went straight to Wal-Mart to get stuff for dinner. Well to our luck all of their refrigerated stuff had gone bad because it started blowing hot air, so obviously we didnt get any meat for dinner. We ended up getting random stuff because thats all there was. So then on Thursday we made yet another trip to the store but we went to Piggly Wiggly that time and we got crab legs and shrimp for dinner! They were so good! But we didnt end up getting done eating until like 10:30 and then we still had to clean everything up so we didnt get in the bed until like 11:00. Then on Friday when I got home from work we went to Tractor Supply and Wal-Mart to get some stuff and decided that we didnt want to cook so we just decided that we would go eat mexican, and it was oh so good! So then we finally got home from all of that and didnt really do much but still didnt get in the bed until like 11:30 or so. Then I had to work at Walton this weekend and had to be at work at 7:00am. So as soon as I got home from work at like 2:00 we left again and went and got lunch and then headed south to Hawkinsville... 2 hours away. We went to watch Chaz's friend run his truck at the Elko Mud Bog. It was pretty fun except that they were all going so slow! It took forever so finally they still were not done and it was already midnight so we just decided to leave because it had just gotten boring. We didnt get home until 2:30am and I had to be at work at 7:00am again this morning so I only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night and I am so tired its not even funny. As for the rest of our day today... Im sure that we will end up having to go somewhere to get something even though I just want to lay around the house and do nothing all day. But I do have to go home and get all of my school stuff together and organized because I start summer semester tomorrow : / Im not really looking forward to it but Im just ready to get it over with since the semester only lasts 7 weeks. So hopefully it wont be that bad. But hopefully the rest of this day will be good!

Well anyway... I guess thats pretty much all that has been going on since Chaz got home... nothing exciting but at least he is home!!

[FiNALLY]

Chaz is FINALLY home after 51 days! I am so glad that he is home! It feels like I have not seen him in forever. But I am so very glad that he is home and had a safe trip, despite a 3 hour layover in Charlotte. He will hopefully be going to Florida at the end of this month. I really hope he does because it will be close enough that I could go see him on the weekends if I wanted to. So we'll see.

On another note, my Nanny is doing very good! She was moved out of the CVICU yesterday and into a step-down room so thats good. So she had a long and stressful day yesterday but my Mamma said that she was doing much better today so thats really good! We are going to go see her tomorrow and I cant wait!

Well I guess this one is just going to have to be short and sweet because we are grilling out and I have to get everything started and go spend time with my hubby :)

[PRAYERS ANSWERED]

I have had a very long past few days. My Nanny had her surgery on Thursday the 28th. It was a very long and scary day. She has a bypass and her aortic valve replaced. Everything went very well with that and the doctor said that everything went as planned and nothing happened that was unexpected. That was until they gave her the platelets to make her blood colt... she had a VERY bad allergic reaction to them and her heart and lungs stopped. But they were able to resuscitate her and then everything was ok. The doctor said it was a very scary and tense few minutes. It was very hard to hear that when the doctor came in to talk to us after the surgery was done. I just had to go somewhere and I broke down. I just didnt want to do it in front of everybody else. It was just the fact that she almost died and that was VERY VERY scary for me! So then there was the question of if her blood was going to clot on its own or if they were going to have to figure out something else to do because obviously the platelets were NOT an option. Luckily within about 2 hours or so of her coming out of surgery she was already clotting on her own! That was such a good thing to hear. Because if she didnt then the doctor would have had to take her back to the operating room because if she didnt clot that would mean that she was still bleeding inside and he would have had to go back in to clean it all out but they didnt have to do that because she was doing great! She had a very good night the first night. They still had her on the ventilator through the night but they took her off of it yesterday afternoon and she came right off it! They told us at first that nobody would be able to see her yesterday that they just wanted her to rest but the nurse called and said that she was awake,sitting up in her chair, eating a popsicle and asking for us to come see her!! So we went up there to see her and she looks so good except for some swelling, which is expected, and she was very alert and talking and everything! The only thing that she complained about was that her back hurt from being in the same position for so long and that her mouth and throat we very dry. I feel so bad for her because I know that is not fun. But I am soooooo glad that she is doing so good! Even the doctor and nurses were shocked at how good she is doing! God has truly answered our prayers! And I know that he will continue to answer them and watch over Nanny while she recovers! We are going to see her this afternoon and I cant wait!

On a different note... Chaz will be home Tuesday!! Only 2 more days!! I cant wait!! His flight is supposed to land in Augusta at 12:30pm! He has a 2 hour layover in Charolette but maybe that wont be to bad for him. I am so ready for him to be home and now it is so close. I just hope it goes by fast.